Resources

Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients), by Martha Kauppi, 2021. It’s comprehensive, in-depth and practical, suitable for both therapist and people looking for some guidance, as they explore polyamory.

Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships, by Tristan Taormino, 2008. I highly recommend this book. It has lots of discussion points and is oriented to supporting people who are deciding to move forward with polyamory, things to consider when making agreements, ways to manage jealousy and so on.

The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity, by Tammy Nelson, 2013. This book isn’t about polyamory, however, it has several chapters that can help you have conversations about relational agreements, allowing each partner to honestly and safely share their desires and expectations.

Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Emotional Intelligence by Esther Perel, 2007. I have included this because it is just such a good book and who doesn't love Esther Perel. Packed full of relationship wisdom and helpful advice.

The Ethical Slut: Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton, 1997-2017. The was one of the first books about polyamory. It has changed lives and the BBC made a radio programme about the impact of the book, called 'The Book of Polyamory' (available on BBC Sounds). In my opinion it is well written and makes for an interesting read.

Untrue: by Wednesday Martin, 2018. The author describes the new science of female libido, and offers a radical take on long held and ‘essential’ truths of women’s sexuality. Questioning if women are, in truth, psychologically oriented to stay true to one person.

Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships, by C. Ryan and C. Jetha, 2010. This is a thought provoking, well researched and frequently funny book. The authors build a strong case that "monogamous mating" or the "long-term pair bond" is not how our species evolved. Much like Untrue by Wednesday Martin (above) they make the case that the development of plough agriculture thousands of years ago changed everything. This led to land ownership and private property with compulsory monogamy presenting the solution to the patriarchal question "Who gets the cows when I die?".

Who Gets the Cows? by Dog and Fox (on Spotify or Bandcamp). Esther Perel is sampled asking some ‘on-point’ questions, albeit in a fever dream.