Disappointing or Unreliable Erections
Erectile problems, often known as erectile dysfunction (ED), means having difficulty obtaining or maintaining an erection. This can make penetration difficult or impossible and can understandably be upsetting or frustrating for both you and your partner.
When an erection is lost or doesn’t happen when expected, it can be easy to become worried that it will happen again. This can lead to increased attention on your erection during sex, rather than being able to relax and enjoy the experience. The more pressure we put on ourselves to perform, the more difficult it can become to maintain an erection, creating a cycle of worry and disappointment.
It is also common for partners to wonder if they are somehow responsible, perhaps thinking that their partner is no longer attracted to them. This can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings and further pressure around sex.
There can be many reasons for erectile difficulties, including physical, emotional and psychological factors. Sometimes a particular experience or period of stress can start the problem, and the fear of it happening again can then keep it going.
For many men, understanding what is happening and breaking the cycle of anxiety and performance pressure can be an important part of making improvements. Psychosexual therapy can provide a safe and supportive space to explore the underlying causes and help you develop greater confidence, reduce pressure around sex and work towards more reliable and enjoyable erections.