When Sexual Behaviour Feels Compulsive
Some people find themselves repeating sexual behaviours even when they genuinely want to change.
Examples include:
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Repeated affairs
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Problematic pornography use or cam sex
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Visiting sex workers
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Patterns that feel hard to stop, such as masturbating more than feels right for you
Clients often describe a strong pull toward the behaviour, even when it conflicts with values or relationships.
Over time, this can lead to shame, secrecy, relationship conflict, and emotional distress.
Understanding Compulsive Sexual Behaviour
Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder (CSBD) is the clinical term for patterns of sexual behaviour that feel difficult to control. The World Health Organisation classifies Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder (CSBD) as an impulse control disorder in the ICD-11.
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It is classified as an impulse control disorder, not an addiction
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Most people who seek therapy are not looking for a diagnosis, but want help understanding why these patterns occur
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Many behaviours that feel “out of control” are attempts to cope with underlying needs, emotions or situations
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Few people meet the full diagnostic criteria
Read the full WHO compulsive sexual behaviour criteria here
Why the Behaviour Persists
Therapy explores:
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Where sexual behaviours come from
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What the behaviour provides - comfort, excitement, escape, or relief from stress
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Emotional triggers - boredom, loneliness, stress or anxiety
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Patterns of compulsion - repetition despite negative consequences
Understanding the function of the behaviour is often the first step toward lasting change.
Common Experiences
Clients often report:
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Difficulty stopping sexual behaviours once they begin
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Feeling shame or regret afterwards
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Behaviour that conflicts with personal values
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Secrecy that damages relationships
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Emotional distress for both self and partner
My Therapeutic Approach
I focus on understanding and integration, rather than shame or suppression.
In therapy we work to:
Clarify what you want -
Identify which behaviours feel healthy and which feel unwanted or harmful.
Develop emotional coping skills -
Manage stress, anxiety, boredom, and loneliness without relying solely on sexual behaviour.
Understand your erotic mind -
Explore sexual desires and fantasies to better understand your authentic sexual identity.
Improve impulse control -
Develop practical tools to manage urges and break repetitive patterns.
Address underlying causes -
Explore emotional, relational, or psychological factors contributing to behaviour.
Restore balance and repair relationships -
Rebuild trust after affairs or secrecy and strengthen meaningful connections.
Integrate sexuality into a fulfilling life -
Develop a balanced, integrated relationship with sexuality, supporting wellbeing and relationships.
You Don’t Have to Deal With This Alone
Therapy provides a confidential, non-judgmental space to understand compulsive sexual behaviour and take steps toward healthier patterns.