Rapid Ejaculation

Rapid ejaculation, sometimes called premature ejaculation (PE), is when ejaculation happens sooner than you would like it to. For some men, this can become a source of frustration, embarrassment or worry, particularly when it starts to affect confidence and how they feel about themselves sexually.

It can also have a bigger impact than simply what happens in the bedroom. When we become anxious about how long we will last, we can start putting pressure on ourselves to “perform” in a certain way. The more we focus on whether we are going to ejaculate too quickly, the harder it can become to relax, stay present and enjoy the experience.

Over time, this worry can sometimes lead to avoiding sex altogether. We might withdraw from intimacy, make excuses, or feel that we are letting our partner down. And when sex becomes something we feel we have to get right, rather than something we can experience together, it can make it much harder to build genuine connection and intimacy.

There are many different reasons why rapid ejaculation can happen. Sometimes there are physical factors involved, but our thoughts, emotions, relationship dynamics and experiences around sex can also play an important part.

Understanding what is happening — rather than simply trying to “last longer” — can be an important first step. It can give us an opportunity to explore our relationship with sex, understand the feelings and beliefs we may be carrying, and begin to develop greater awareness and control around arousal and ejaculation.

Learning how to slow things down, extend making love and develop greater ejaculatory control can help take some of the pressure out of sex. More importantly, it can help us move away from a sense of having to perform and towards feeling more relaxed, connected and present with our partner.