When Porn Addiction Doesn’t Explain What’s Really Going On

Why understanding what lies behind compulsive sexual behaviour may be more helpful than simply focusing on the behaviour itself.

Is Porn Addiction Actually a Thing?

This article explores problematic porn use, behavioural addiction, withdrawal and brain changes, and why understanding what drives the behaviour may be more useful than focusing on the label.

When the Problem Isn't Just Porn

Blaming genuine relationship problems on porn isn’t going to resolve them. Men need to understand how their behaviour around porn can affect their partner, while women may find it helpful to understand what is, and isn’t, a porn problem.

The Coolidge Effect

Attraction to someone new can be confusing when you're happy in your relationship. The Coolidge Effect offers one way of understanding why this can happen.

Managing Compelling Urges

The focus here is on those times when you experience a strong or compelling urge to act in a particular way outside your relational agreements.

When pleasing a Partner Comes at a Cost - For Both of You

When pleasing your partner means putting your own desires aside, sex can become an obligation rather than a shared experience of pleasure and connection, leaving both partners feeling less satisfied and less desired.

Rethinking Sexual Desire

We don't all experience sexual desire in the same way. Sometimes the desire comes first; sometimes interest develops through affection, closeness and pleasurable touch.

Learning to Slow Down and Notice

Learning to slow down and savour simple sensations can help us bring greater presence, pleasure, connection and less performance pressure to sexual intimacy.

The Language of Relationships

Relationships don't always fit neatly into the language we've inherited. Here are some of the words people use to describe different ways of relating. Sometimes, having a word for an experience can help us see our relationships in a different way.